Editor’s Note: Typographical and grammatical errors have been corrected where appropriate, unless in our discretion the text was better represented as a stream-of-consciousness. Paragraph breaks may also be at our discretion.
On March 27, 2023, Audrey Hale, a female-to-male transgender identifying as Aiden, murdered six children and adults at the Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee. Hale was a former student of the school and was killed by officers during the shooting.
Police confirmed the existence of a “manifesto” during media briefings, but in March 2025 the Nashville police published an Investigative Case Summary stating a manifesto, by their definition, never existed — just miscellaneous journals and notebooks.
In May 2025, the FBI released about 100 pages from these notebooks. Although they may not fit the formal definition of a manifesto, they were initially reported as such, and contain information related to Hale’s planning and financing of the attack.
Pokemon to Draw
The first dated entry is from May 2, 2022, ten months before the murders, titled “Before Death Goal List.” At the time, Hale was 27 years old, yet the journals read like they’re from someone half that age.
Hale chronicles all the activities she wants to complete before dying, including:
- Watch Flintstones season 1
- Watch Spongebob Squarepants season 3
- Watch all Harry Potter movies, twice
- Watch The Mighty Ducks
- Read Lolita
- Collect Pokemon cards
- Beat Pokemon Emerald game
- Complete a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of Kellogg’s Cereals
- Watch Resident Evil story series on YouTube
- Play a Tony Hawk video game
- Draw Pokemon characters
She also writes a few entries about internet-based scams, having clearly been burned in the past. Nine weeks before the shooting, on January 16, 2023, Hale writes again about being scammed, but also laments that everyone misunderstands her autism; tells us that her favorite meal is chicken nuggets and fries; and admits her faith is weak, and asks God for forgiveness.
Retard Homes
In an undated entry, Hale writes that brown girls have the nicest skin, and the FBI redacted an acquaintance’s name who Hale appears to have been enamored with. Hale writes, “P.S. I think God will enter me in heaven. If I do get there I’ll be waiting for you.” It’s difficult to reconcile these pleas to God with Hale’s decision to attack students at a religious school.
On January 25, 2023, Hale writes, “I pay no rent or bills… still live w/ my parents, might as well throw me in a retard home.” Hale also writes about their gender dysphoria and suicidal ideation. In what appears to be two separate entries: “A terrible feeling to know I am nothing of the gender I was born of. I am the most unhappy boy alive. I wish to be dead“; and, “I will be of no use of love if I don’t have what they need: boy’s / body / male gender.“
Sometime around February 9, 2023, Hale writes: “Major blow to girls; I am a boy that has no penis.” On at least two different dates, Hale writes of “white nothingness,” presumably to describe how they feel about death.
Woman, Lady, Ma’am
Scattered throughout are exactly what you’d expect: talk of nothingness; hating society; how the universe is infinite; an eternal life, death, and rebirth cycle; existential meaningless; etc. Expected musings of a young teenager, not a twenty-eight year old.
On February 21, 2023, Hale writes: “I was called woman, lady, and ma’am all in the same day. I hate everything about my gender. Everything hurts.” A few pages later is scrawled:
2/21/23
Male brain –> my autism?
I was actually identified as a male today and it felt right but [I was] embarrassed of my female body. I should not be in this body!
The guy who runs the comic shop is cool and he has friendly customer service skills. He really knows his stuff and treats all the guys fairly. I like being called bud, bro, and man. It just is directed 100% accurate to who I am as a guy inside. If only all other men and boys could see me that way, that my body doesn’t make me a female 100%. More like 5 to none. Sometimes people do identify me right away as a he since I am smaller and look younger than others my age. It helps, but when I’m called a lady or ma’am — damn it, it makes me not want to exist. The body in me exists only to me. I’m just damn tired of being called and identified by a gender I am not. At all. At least I don’t have big boobs or a butt, but yet I hate having boobs at all. They might have grown just a bit and I want to die.
Nastiest, Ugliest Hobo Head
One week later on February 28, 2023, Hale gives us a glimpse of the anger inside her. In one entry, she writes about disgust, dying, and love:
I looked behind this bastard and it was so disgusting I lost my appetite. I felt sick looking at it. That ugly flannel that looks ugly on it, and it’s hair was the nastiest, ugliest hobo head I’ve ever seen on it.
This faggot is so god-damned ugly, and I’ll be damned I had to look at this miserable f-ck for 10+ years. Disgusted with that like disgusted being in a female body.
Makes me think about dying.
What is pure ugly, and then seen what is pure beauty. She is the most beautiful girl that I ever laid eyes on. No other woman has touched my heart more than her. The times I have seen her in person, how I feel like dying b/c I die to be a part of that kind of love. Love amongst the rarest through my hearts desire. But my heart knows that I can’t be with her, or have any close connection. At least she would be able to talk to me a couple seconds, look in her eyes, look in mine and her hands that are gentle at the touch — kind and sweet. It makes me shiver and shake in this cocoon much desired, to rest and be released so I can be a butterfly transformed in another dimension. For all this time of shaking inside to her, all my inner butterflies of her will fly away w/ me. Soon, a love I’ve never known…
Then on either March 1 or March 2, 2023, Hale solidifies their “Death Day” writing: “In less than 26 days, my final day, death day will finally await me. I can’t wait! Nature needs enigmas… I am one, thank God.“
Brown Girls
Throughout the journals, Hale is fixated emotionally and sexually on an unnamed (redacted) “brown girl.”
On March 3, 2023, Hale writes of love and imprisonment:
The (February) 27th was a beautiful night, just like my brown girl. She looked so beautiful that night. I could not take my eyes off her. Call it lust or pervertedness, I know who I am attracted to, and I can’t unchange that. It’s like my soul is spellbound to her spirit or something. It has to be her personality; personable and the ways she connects w/ people makes her so likeable. It’s why she has a whole team of supporters, and why she’s loved the way she is. I just wish I was more a part of it. So many aspects I love about her — physical and spiritual, the two mingle perfectly together in harmony. Yes, she’s just as beautiful with her heart than her body. But for the life of me I cannot help but gaze into her beauty; her arms, her back, her hips, her lips. Every part of her I desire to latch onto. So when her hand laid onto me after the show, its being touched by an angel.
But my problem is living in hell. My mind and my body are a prison. Anything that triggers it or stimulates it, only makes things worse. She made history that night even if she was nervous and her back felt clammy. Only natural to sweat with having a first live show, and she’s still beautiful. She knows who she is, and all the rest of the world in time will too. She’s famous to me; a star to many. Little does she know how we will soon share the same fate. She will live a legend and I will die a shooter — hopefully I will make history too. No one will forget either of us. She will be the blessing, and I will be the horror to inflict pain.
The journal entries become more fantasied and violent as March 27, 2023, approaches. Shortly after the previous entry, Hale writes that “The year Aiden was born… 3/27/23.” Hale appears to believe that by committing a school shooting, they will officially become identifiable with the male archetype.
My Imaginary Penis
On March 11, 2023, Hale scrawls a long screed titled “My Imaginary Penis.” The contents range from anger at not having puberty blockers or supportive parents; puberty causing feelings of imprisonment; and using dolls to simulate anal sex, with Hale relating to the boy doll.
My Imaginary Penis
My penis exists in my head. I swear to God I’m a male. I think about sexual fantasies, about how if my dick was real I’d f-ck the girl I love in the ass. I want to know what that’s like, but I never will because I was damned to be born this way. I swear to f-ck I hate it so goddamned much. It’s a f-cking curse. Having a brain like mine has its Godliness but also prone to make poor ass decisions. Like putting my Aiden name while filling out paperwork for Instacart and now my BG [background] check didn’t clear and I’m possibly not going to get the job.
F-ck me, man. [Redacted] just says I’m young and young people make mistakes. But with me, its painfully more than that. The torture and the biggest shit of being raised a girl, and actually believed I just had to deal with it, and tried to be feminine. But that didn’t last long after high school ended and no longer I had to fear of being called a dyke or faggot. It was and only until my early ’20s I finally found the answer — that changing one’s gender is possible. But oh f-cking no, not [redacted]. What she believes, how she grew up conservatively, and that LGBTQ — especially transgender in her era was an enigma, nearly non-existent.
I might have told her once in childhood I wish I was a boy when she made me put my shirt back on a as a kid. But would way “you’re a girl, and that’s how you were born” [and] that’s how God made me. Some kind of bullshit like that. It made me mad. Because being a boy as a kid was when I was [sic] felt most like myself. A bore, flat chest made me free. Girl puberty imprisoned me. And so does my mind. Puberty = life sentence. The people in this world add more bullets to shoot violent thoughts in my head on full-auto. I hate parental views; now [redacted] sees me as a daughter — and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.
Pain of losing a daughter? That’s not pain, that’s selfishness. Just like any rest of the parents with the mindset. They are all full of shit. How could they not ever think of their own child suffering, and that they hate their gender so bad they cut and want to kill themselves? F-cking parents like them, who think of themselves first, and their preference of conservative religion — gay shit makes them believe that the child they are given should stay that way. Even if transgender treatment was discovered and tested during my time, I know how the situation would have turned out. [Redacted] would not have paid a cent.
Children who were able to successfully take puberty blockers and never enter a tortured puberty, those little faggots don’t know how good they f-cking have it. I’d kill to have parents who would let their child be happy no matter how different it is to their viewpoints or don’t agree, or scared of it. They are willing to listen to their children, not the other way around. I’d kill to have had those resources; 2007 was the birth of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for treatment of non-conforming transgender children. 2007 was when I was in the 6th grade. Puberty already hit me.
The only reason I could conclude why it didn’t bother me too much is that my boobs were small. I thought they’d stay that way forever. My autistic brain… change in body f-cked me over now, even if my boobs are still small for the most part. It all started with getting new underwear for my big bears (my two tabbies, my lion and frog), and there I was when I got home, thinking of porn and doing plastic surgery on my boy stuffed animals, giving them penises because their middle looked like a vagina. No boy should ever have that. If I can’t change my appearance, I can pretend how it would be by my imagination of child’s play through my stuffed animals’ spirit through me.
I can pretend to be them and do the things boy do and experience with their dicks. My boy self is Tony [sic] — my stuffed boy doll is like the boy I am in another form since childhood. I constructed for him a penis, then got out my girl doll named Ashley (who is Tony’s life-long boyfriend) to have sex with Tony. Ashley was represented as any dream girl I wished to have in real life, and Tony is me; having those intimate relationships with a beautiful girl. Tony is a boy, inside and out. Ashley is a girl, inside and out. Two straight lovers who are in full nature of themselves by awareness.
I let Tony f-ck Ashley in the ass hard-humping and stuffed Tony’s big penis in aggressively into her asshole. It took several attempts for Tony to put his dick into her vagina because he has a big dick (and was even bigger since he had an erection), [it] finally went in and Ashley cried and moaned for a good ten minutes. Tony humped slow and hard, Tony grunting with all his strength. Then after I fucked Ashley for a good ten minutes (remember, Tony is me). Then I let her suck his dick and touch is erected penis. After that they wrapped each other in their arms and legs as a sloth hugging a tree.
After love they made, gracefully sat side by side naked holding hands, surrounded by the scattering of their clothes. I took pictures of their sex positions. My imaginary penis was hard for hours. Rock hard as a flintstone; hours making cloth penises for my boy bears, only to realize I missed the gym because they closed at 7. I was mad already because I had no work that afternoon. [I] walked around the mall browsing t-shirts at Spencer’s and got some boots for Tommy, my stuffed lion. I purchased some stickers at Zumiez for my car and one sticker I got — a stripper booty illustration with “Dat Ass” on it. God, I am such a pervert. I waste too much time in my fantasies…
A Virgin Fag
No indication is given in the published journals as to why Hale chose March 27, 2023, for the date of the school shooting. But Hale was fixated on the date, and even counted down to it. In an entry dated March 13, 2023, fourteen days before the shooting, Hale wrote:
When it’s all said and done; I said my last goodbye to you today (that post was not a post, it was my last suicide note). I’ll be dead in 2 weeks!!! So as much as my heart pours out to you, no longer will I bother you about how much I love you, that’s not necessary to your heart. All pain must end someday… So I must die!!! None fo what my heart went through will matter until I die. The signs will never be 100% clear because of how often they go unmissed. I love you but you can’t tell me that. (Although I wish you could.) I’m sorry innocent lives will be taken.
This entry is signed “Aiden,” Hale’s male identity.
It’s hard to reconcile the stated remorse for taking innocent lives with the her decision to actually do so. If someone felt this way — sorry that innocent people would be killed — what could possibly inspire them to see through such an abominable act?
In another entry from the same day, Hale writes free verse about being a virgin, titled “Life of a Virgin Fag…”
No sex in real life
No love in life
⇨ Resort to cartoon porn
⇨ or let my stuffed animals f-ck
Eric & Dylan Would Be Proud
As the day grew nearer, Hale wrote multiple entries about “Syd,” a former basketball teammate who died in a car crash seven months prior: “Damn Syd, I just want 2 hug you… (Hopefully soon once I die.),” and “I love you Syd, #32, 32 tears.”
In an undated entry after March 16, 2023, Hale begins to fetish their upcoming violence with a reference to the infamous Columbine shooters: “I want my massacre to end in a way that Eric and Dylan would be proud of.”
On March 23, 2023, we get our first dated entry from the week of Hale’s planned shooting spree:
On my way to the [shooting] range, and saw a billboard on suicide only meters away from Sumner Gun & Supply. I will use guns in my suicide. Then after the time in range (while cleaning my AR), a lady got ricocheted in the leg and ankle. I saw the EMTs working on her leg on the floor and they took her away on the gurney. Foreshadowing on my own massacre? There was blood splatters on the floor, [and] police asking question to the other people that were in the range.
On the way home, I look up at the sky and parts of clouds peeking out sunlight like heaven shining down. Foreshadow of my death? Saw sunlight-peering clouds twice in a row this week. Are the angels telling Syd I’m going to die soon? Huh…
Again, the entry is signed “Aiden.”
Forgive Me God
Despite the official narrative (Wikipedia 2025-06-15) stating in the first paragraph that Hale “targeted the school specifically because it was Christian,” there isn’t anti-Christian messaging in the journals besides some frustration at having conservative guardians.
On the day of the massacre, March 27, 2023, Hale even writes: “Forgive me God, this act will be inglorious.“
The final entry is entitled “Death Day.” In it, Hale suggests that they’ve fantasized about their massacre since 2021, and even hopes that their victims aren’t prepared for their assault.:
Today is the day. The day has finally come! I can’t believe it’s here. [I] don’t know how I was able to get this far, but here I am.
I’m a little nervous, but excited too. [I’ve] been excited for the past 2 weeks. There were several times I could have been caught, especially back in the summer of 2021.
None of that matters now. I’m almost an hour and seven minutes away. [I] can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’m ready. I hope my victims aren’t.
My only fear is if anything goes wrong. I’ll do my best to prevent [anything] of the sort. (God, let my wrath take over my anxiety.) It might be 10 minutes, tops. It might be 3 to 7 minutes. It’s going to go quick. I hope I have a high death count.
Ready to die haha,
Aiden
In addition to this, the FBI released pages from a more-heavily censored journal, which recounts Hale’s trips to the gun range and actions to acquire the requisite equipment.
Tactical Approaches
On a page labelled “August 8th – 20th, 2022,” approximately seven months before the shooting, reads the words “Buy the rest of supplies” next to a censored, eight-item checklist. The next page in the file is from five months later, January 16, 2023, with its entire contents redacted.
An entire page from October 2, 2022, is redacted except for its title, “Tactical Approaches.” On either November 1st or 2nd, 2022, Hale dismisses the Opry Mills Mall as a poor target. Sickeningly, one of the reasons provided is that “teens underage [are] not allowed without a guardian.”
One of the final, uncensored entries in this journal is dated November 2, 2022, and again demonstrates Hale’s infantile worldview:
Last minute to-do:
[check] Finish my wallpaper of the Shining
Cartoons unwatched
[check] Finish reading almost done books
[check] Pokemon drawings
[check] Friday the 13ths parts 2, 3, and 4
Cartoons drawing
[check] Watch favorite Christmas movies
Subsequent pages are heavily redacted because they deal almost exclusively in reconnaissance. They detail: “Minutes / Seconds Calculations,” presumably referring to time of travels or school routines; “Emergency Plan C,” with a crude diagram of the buildings and roadways; and another, “Seconds Recorded,” is fully redacted.
It continues to entries dated January 16, 2023, titled “Hours Calculated for Day Before” and “Test,” both fully redacted. The following four pages continue with redacted names of the Faculty and Staff members of the Covenant School.
We Are All Fags
Before the journal ends, Hale transitions from the strictly operational entries to more emotional and psychological reflections. On January 11, 2023, Hale writes “Autism Shit“:
Can’t relate to people
Neurotypicals are frustrating and annoying
Lack independence (full)
Exposure to loud noise and abruptones [sic]
Not many friends
Prefer to be alone
Blur sh-t to unsafe people
No one understands
No one gives a sh-t, so I can’t either
I care too much (my spectrum)
Can’t read facial expressions
Confused how someone is feeling
Hard to get a job
Hard to live independently
Parents around too d-mn much
Not good at building friendships
Says that that are weird
Really angry or sad
Social cues suck
Gender identity is f-cked
Phrases said backwards
Words hard to communicate
My brain doesn’t work right
A following, undated entry titled “We Are All Fags” demonstrates Hale’s predisposition to violence:
Lesbians can be cute
as long as they are feminine
Kill all the dykes
and all those girly-boy faggots
We are all faggots
We are all queers
Let all the black police hang us
— Aiden
Hale goes on to pen an entry titled “F-ck You” against their father, saying: “Instead of worrying and talking to the TV and cursing at politics, why don’t you worry about your f-cking [censored] and help her out… Throw the bible in his face, tell him his religion sucks then shoot ’em. Point. Blank. Dead.“
On February 2, 2023, Hale writes:
Either way… I’m going to die and people will too, sooner or later. Pray to your God that your children will live, because I will try to kill all your kids!!! Hold on to them while you can… your children are going to die!!!
A subsequent entry reads: “I’m a queer odd boy. I must die.”
Sadly, Audrey chose not to die with dignity. She chose to inflict pain on others, needlessly, with a prepared, orchestrated attack on innocent children. She could’ve fulfilled her own prophecy as a “queer odd boy” that must die, but without inflicting pain others, but chose not to do so. Her sympathy and stated remorse appears performative, knowing how easily pain to others could’ve been avoided.
Little Crackers
On February 3, 2023, Hale unleashes a barrage of hate in two separate entries. For someone who self-identifies with the LGBTQ community and calls themselves “queer,” it’s surprising how often Hale uses the word “f-ggot” pejoratively:
K— those k—!!! Those crackers going to private fancy schools with those fancy khakis and sports backpacks, with their daddy’s Mustangs and convertibles, f-ck you little sh-ts. I wish to sh— you weak a– dicks with your mop yellow hair. [I] wanna k— all you little crackers! Bunch of little f-ggots with your white privileges. F— you f-ggots.
[Censored] is a shithead!!! Poop faced-faggot ugly bastard, several teeth missing and a black tooth lie a f-cking hobo, bird nest head, fat-sausage fingers, ugly throughout.
On February 16, 2023, Hale lashes out against an individual they refer to as “Doody [redacted]” and “Doo Doo [redacted].” It’s not known who this person is, but if I had to guess — and don’t cite me on this, it’s pure speculation based on Hale’s journal entries and the immaturity displayed — my money would be on Hale’s father.
The entry suggests an older male individual (“dried out spirit,” “shriveled up cock,” and “cranky, old, tired”). In earlier entries, Hale also suggests a “preference of conservative religion” as the reason why their parents aren’t supportive of their gender identity. Add that to the simple, childlike alliteration of “Doody Daddy” and “Doo Doo Daddy,” and the February 2023 entry of “Most fathers suck. [Redacted] included,” and that’s my rationale.
The next entries contain redacted reconnaissance around 155 Briley Parkway, Highway 109N, and “Rural fields and woods,” with some notes about “What would help.”
On February 26, 2023, one month before the shooting, Hale writes extensively about target practice and how they are a bad shot:
Setup my soda can, [styrofoam] cup, and bottle and shot from about 5-6 yards. I could shoot where I want, but the bullet shell / pellet BBs would just barely breeze slightly above them. After 25 attempts (thus 25 shells after) I was unsuccessful to hit any of my targets… F-ck, why am I such a bad shot w/ slugger?
Hale placed significance on the date, but it’s not clearly exactly why.
The date of the assault was 3/27/2023, yet Hale writes about 4/17/2023 as well. They note that 4/17/2023 was “as I originally intended it. I couldn’t do it last year since my senior show was that same month.“
April reminds me of Columbine! It’d be nice to be set in history of a date 3 days before
4/20/99 – Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold
4/17/23 – Aiden Hale17 just somehow reminisces with me the most. 17 is an odd number. I’m an oddball.
Hale identifies the number 17 with the numbers 13 and 27, as well as an inversion of 23 to 32. There’s no obvious, formal mathematical pattern, so these may just be a subjective, constructed relationship. But a desire to “make history” on 4/17 — three days before the Columbine shooting, as noted above – and the derivation of 13 and 27 from the number 17, may have led to the March 27 date, i.e. 17 ➞ 13/27.
Hale notes in at least two separate entries that “The month born is the month 2 die!,” which also may have led to their decision to commit violence in March.
Bizarrely, on the same page that Hale writes that 4/17/23 was they “originally intended it,” there’s musings about wagons:
I want to use my [illegible] wagon so I can enjoy using it for work. [Redacted] will let me have it as an early b-day present on Monday (3/6/2023). I like wagons — I had one when I was little. It was a Red Ryder. I would tote all kinds of fun stuff…
If you read the documents released by the FBI, you’ll note that the first pages of the journals showcase unadulterated adolescence and immaturity. I omitted reference to those pages at the top of this article because, while obviously a material demonstration of Hale’s immaturity — which itself is surreally paradoxical, given the nature of the crime and the childish behavior of the murderer — Hale’s immaturity was on display all throughout the journals. But near the end of the journals, as published by the FBI, the childishness is on full display again, so I enter here the first twenty lines of the entry that immediately follows the aforementioned quote, “The month born is the month 2 die!“:
Favorite All-Time Movies
By: Aiden
1. The Lion King (Disney – 1997)
2. Toy Story (Disney – 1995)
3. The Shining (1980)
4. Wall-E (Disney/Pixar – 2008)
5. Toy Story 3 (Disney/Pixar – 2010)
6. Elephant (2003)
7. Heartstone ( 2017)
8. Stand By Me (1986)
9. Fargo (1996)
10. Lolita (1997)
11. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)
12. Mid-90s (2018)
13. Lord of the Flies (1990)
14. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
15. The Fox and The Hound (Disney – 1981)
16. The Brave Little Toaster (Disney – 1987)
17. All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989)
18. Toy Story 2 (Disney/Pixar – 1999)
19. Finding Nemo (Disney/Pixar – 2003)
20. Monsters, Inc. (Disney/Pixar – 2001)
In what world would a school shooter’s favorite movies include The Lion King, Toy Story, and The Brave Little Toaster? This world, is the answer. And it should be considered a sick and twisted indictment of American society that The Brave Little Toaster appears anywhere near such a horrific act against one’s fellow men and God’s creation.
In one of the final entries before the remaining, heavily-redacted pages about Hale’s “Death Day,” we’re treated to the closest thing to a rationale or explanation for their horrific act:
I have to kill,
so I can be remembered…
in the most horrific way possible!
(that way no one will ever forget)
THE END
Aiden
Unsurprisingly, Hale’s journals open more questions than they answer. The diagnosis is obvious. In layman’s terms, Audrey Hale was deranged, but not insane. There’s no obvious signs of schizophrenia or psychosis.
These journal entries were written over months, and despite the poor grammar and misspellings, they’re perfectly legible and comprehensible to an ordinary reader. Although Hale was 28-years-old at the time of the murders, the entries read like they’re written by someone half that age.
It reminds me of a young teenager who misidentifies their own personal insights as some profound or undiscovered revelation about the world in which we live. It feels deep, and to some degree it is, but it’s still far from the true chasms where the mysteries of our minds and God’s revelations are revealed.
Audrey Hale sought infamy. She felt the world didn’t care for her, so she didn’t care for it. She sought notoriety in inexplicable violence. And that’s about it, it seems.
Unfortunately, there’s no clear prescription to help us identify these types of individuals in the future, or to help us preempt their violence. Modern western society is too liberal (tolerant) and degenerate (unserious) to perform the self-reflection required to identify and remedy its own afflictions, and the impact this degeneracy has on ordinary people.
Hale is not alone. While transgender violence has traditionally been directed internally (self-harm and suicide), it’s been increasingly reflected outwards, onto others. Two of the more notable are:
- Andrea Ye (identifying as Alex) was arrested before carrying out a school shooting. She wrote a “manifesto” that mentioned Hale, and noted a desire to legally change her name so the news doesn’t “misgender” her like they did to Hale
- The Zizians, an anarcho-vegan cult charged with six murders, whose members identify as transgender or reject binary sexuality
To conclude, I’ve transcribed one of the final uncensored entries from the “manifesto.” It makes for a fine demonstration of the schizophrenic juxtaposition of the thoughts occupying Hale’s inner world, where, on a single page, “hug stuffed animals” and “draw/watch cartoons” appears next to “put vest in tactical backpack.”
(B.D.D.)
Before Death DayMorning:
– (While listening to Doom soundtrack)
– Load gear in red duffel bag (10-20 min.)
– Watch movies (Elephant / 2003 / 1.21.06 1 hr 51 min.)Afternoon:
– Watch school shooting documentaries during lunch hour (Columbine – The Big Picture / 53.34)
– Free time – draw/watch cartoons
– Spend time with stuffed animals
– Video tape recording – 5 minutes (53.34)Night:
– Hug stuffed animals
– Spend time with stuffed animals
– Watch part 2 of Columbine – A New World / 1.31.06 – or movie (6:30) – desired
– Go to bed: 10:00
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